Grudge Match (2013)

The recent careers of Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro haven’t exactly been defined by prestige pictures, so it is saying something that even they should be above Grudge Match, a cynical, laborious piece of so-called “comedic” filmmaking that barely even bothers to shoot for the lowest common denominator. It’s not a surprise that director Peter Segal has two Happy Madison projects under his belt, since Grudge Match similarly piles on the crass, uninspired gags until it abruptly decides it wants the audience to take its characters seriously. The actors look like they’re being held hostage, and the only time the film has any life is when Kevin Hart shows up to do his usual Kevin Hart thing. At least he seems happy to be there. Everyone else wants out, and it’s hard to blame them.

Grudge Match was quite blatantly pitched as “Rocky vs. Raging Bull,” and it makes sure to pack in plenty of in-jokes that play on the central pair’s star power. The idea is this: back in the ’80s, Stallone’s Henry ‘Razor’ Sharp and De Niro’s Billy ‘The Kid’ McDonnen fought twice, with each winning once. The titular grudge match never happened, since Sharp retired from boxing soon after the second bout. Now, all these years later, Hart wants the two of them to get together for one last fight, and plenty of old age jokes ensue, none of them particularly original. There is also a subplot involving Sharp’s old flame Kim Basinger’s Sally, as well as McDonnen’s son B.J. (Jon Bernthal).

This is the kind of film that seems incapable of surprising audiences, though many who buy tickets are probably not looking to be surprised. If so, this is precisely what they are looking for. There’s definitely a movie that could be made about De Niro and Stallone trying to recapture the glory of their younger days, but instead of offering redemption, Grudge Match just makes their current state all the more depressing. It’s a film that tries so hard to celebrate the careers of its two stars, but then it too frequently resorts to demeaning them for a cheap laugh. I’ve no doubt that Stallone and De Niro want to prove their relevance to a younger generation, but choosing to make a film like Grudge Match is part of the problem and not the solution.

Grade: D