The Kids Are All Right (Review)

Several movies have dealt with the family dynamic. There have even been several that have explored gay and lesbian couples who attempt to raise a family. Most entertainment that focuses on such couples make it ABOUT the fact that the couple is homosexual, with the goal that it provides comedy or cutting-edge drama. Lisa Cholodenko’s The Kids Are All Right enters on a lesbian couple once they already have a family. The children are teenagers and comfortable with their parents, and the story here could have been told with a couple of any sexual orientation. It’s not a movie about a lesbian couple, but a movie about a family, and there is a truth to each character that most auteurs only dream of. This film is an absolute gem.

The couple is Nic (Annette Benning) and Jules (Julianne Moore), their daughter Joni (Alice in Wonderland's Mia Wasikowska) is going to college at the end of the summer, and their son Laser (Josh Hutcherson) is still in high school. Everything is going swimmingly enough, but then the children decide to find the sperm donor from whose fruit they spring. This person is Paul, played by Mark Ruffalo at his most mellow. (This guy’s playing the Hulk in The Avengers. Keep that in mind.) Paul has never really explored having a family. He carries on casual relationships, he dropped out of college to start his own restaurant, and he decides to meet his kids without really thinking about what might transpire. Paul is essentially a modern-day hippie, the kind of guy that doesn’t sit well with Nic. Jules, however, is a bit more free-spirited.

It isn’t long before Paul starts to attach himself to the family. In fact, he begins to think he really wants a family, but God forbid he go out and do it himself. He really starts to like hanging out with his donor kids, and he begins to impose himself in other, more disturbing ways that I will not reveal here. He lets Joni ride his motorcycle with him, but the parents don’t approve. Nic begins to worry that the kids are starting to see Paul as their father, but at the end of the day he’s not. It never occurs to Paul that what he’s doing at any point in this film might be wrong. He seizes the moment whenever it appears, and it doesn’t always turn out well. That does not make Paul a villain. He’s incredibly likeable to the audience, even when he begins to tear the family apart.

The thesis of the film is stated towards the end of the film, and if I recall the line is “Marriage is hard”. Might have been an expletive in there. Either way, that’s what the film really breaks down: Not just the fragility of marriage but of family. You’re forced to live with these people for years upon years upon years, and these are not people you are going to agree with all the time. There WILL be arguments and temptations. At the end of the day, it’s about damage control, and the family displayed in The Kids Are All Right is going to need a lot of it, but they’re not about to break it all up on a whim, and especially not because of Paul.

The characters here are fully realized across the board, perfectly written and perfectly acted. These are all normal people that the audience will identify with. There was not a moment where I did not believe that this was a family that has existed for 18 years plus. Even the best films have traces of artificiality, but The Kids Are All Right somehow avoids it. Like the food Paul provides the family, it’s all truly organic. The final scene when Joni is dropped off at college will cut deep for parents across America. You can feel a chapter closing in this family’s book.

The Kids Are All Right provides us the most realistic movie family in many a moon, which is no small feat. This film is a comedy, but there is no absurdity. It all cuts deep. The more I think about this film, the more it impresses me. We tend to take for granted the people around us, but at the slightest gust of negative wind it could collapse like a house of cards. I defy you to leave this film without a smile on your face.

This is Lisa Cholodenko’s third feature film, and she shows a skill here that few people possess: The ability to create a genuine portrait of human life. This story could be told with a gay couple, a straight couple, interspecies, you name it. With a combination of a brilliant script and universally great performances, The Kids Are All Right is one of the best and most satisfying movies of the year.

Rating: (out of 4)