Fast Five is one of those movies that is most concerned with how best to get to the next car crash or explosion. As I am normally something of an old man when it comes to movies like this, you may be expecting me to don my top hat and monocle so I may banish this film to fiery pit from whence it came. Strangely, this is not the case. Fast Five has some of the most exciting action sequences I’ve seen this year, and the hilariously awful dialogue in between only adds to the guilty charm of the whole ordeal. The fun comes so fast and (wait for it) furious that you barely notice the movie is only 18 minutes shorter than Inception.
Of all the films in the Fast and the Furious series, the only one I’ve seen besides Fast Five is the original. I’d imagine connoisseurs of the series might be able to explain to me where this film fits into the whole “mythology,” but ultimately the plot is relatively irrelevant to the whole experience. All you need to know is that the movie opens with Vin Diesel’s character getting sentenced to a whole lot of time in prison. Literally—and I mean literally—two seconds later, Paul Walker and friends come along to bust him out. Next thing you know, they’re all hiding out in Rio de Janeiro. Oh, and Paul Walker is still dating Diesel’s sister. Their relationship takes a twist early in the film, but I daren’t spoil one of the movie’s funniest lines.
While in Rio, the gang is recruited to help steal a few cars from a moving train. After the film’s best action sequence, it turns out that those cars are the property of a corrupt businessman who spends much of his time involved in the drug trade. As our heroes aren’t particularly fond of this man, they decide to plan One Last Heist that will allow them to steal his entire fortune. This is a job that will apparently require a full team of car enthusiasts, and so they decide to call up everybody who has ever survived an entire Fast and the Furious film. The ultimate film doesn’t look so much like a car commercial as it does an Ocean’s movie with extra testosterone. All the while they are hunted by DSS agent Dwayne Johnson, who comes away with some of the best/worst lines in film history.
Fast Five is best at its most ridiculous, thanks to the impressive work of director Justin Lin. The action scenes are notable mostly because they are coherent as well as chaotic. It seems that action movies these days always strive to be as discombobulating as possible; shaking the camera and barely letting the audience look at what they’re seeing. This film certainly moves fast, but the action is exciting because you can tell exactly what you’re looking at. On top of that, all of the car stunts look real. It’s hard to get excited during CGI action sequences because intelligent audiences are able to discern what is real and what is not. Fast Five is exciting because we feel like it’s all actually happening, as ridiculous as it may be.
Of course it’s overlong and dumber than a bag of hammers, but I’m not sure I’ve had more brainless fun at the movies in a long, long time. Whether or not you’re in the target demographic, Fast Five should be able to bring out the preteen boy in you. Even critics, who rejected the first four films in the series, seem to be embracing Fast Five. It may be cinematic junk food at its most artery-clogging, but it’s delicious while it lasts.
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