Volume 2: Don’t Sleep With Vampires
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1
Dir: Bill Condon – Planned release date: November 18
As much flak as the Harry Potter series is getting for splitting its final chapter into two parts, I maintain that the final book was far too dense for the entire plot to fit into a single film. I’m a full-fledged Harry Potter fan—make no mistake—but not enough to sit down and watch four full hours of it. I won’t argue that much of the motivation to split Deathly Hallows into two wasn’t commercial, but I think it was ultimately a necessity.
It should also be said that I have not read one of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight books, nor have I forced myself to grow a pair and watch all three films thus far. (Or lose a pair, depending on your point of view.) This is a series I’ve had just about figured out from day one, and every clip I’ve watched has either elicited unintentional laughter or a rolling of the eyes. I understand how this can be someone’s cup of tea, but it sure as death doesn’t look to be mine. However, in the wake of Harry Potter’s success, the splitting of Breaking Dawn into two parts can’t help but feel calculated. Crap on the Deathly Hallows decision all you want, at least it came first. That way it doesn’t look like the copycat Breaking Dawn is. (In other news, it is rumored that the Jennifer Lawrence-starring adaptation of The Hunger Games trilogy will be split into four installations, which, yikes.)
Needless to say, the first trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 will do little to convert the naysayers. It begins with various reactions to a mysterious piece of paper, with Taylor Lautner eventually storming off in a huff. (He even takes his shirt off!) Of course, said piece of paper is revealed to be an invitation to the wedding of Bella (Kristen Stewart, who actually seems to be emoting) and the vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson). Those who are familiar with the ceremony of holy matrimony will know that it is often followed by the couple in question engaging in an activity the kids are calling “doing it.” In Breaking Dawn, this activity seems to entail Pattinson tearing a freaking wall to pieces. The Twilight series is known for being enthusiastically pro-abstinence, and even in marriage it seems to be warning of the dangers of intimacy. After all, you might end up mothering a vampire baby.
The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn
Dir: Steven Spielberg – Planned release date: December 23
Steven Spielberg has not had a directorial effort released to theaters since 2008’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. He’s produced quite a bit, but lately it seems he has been devoting his time to putting his stamp of approval on movies rather than directly making them. Little did we all know he was hard at work making 2011 one of his most prolific years ever. Not only is he directing one film this year; he’s directing two—both of which will be released within the same week. (Five days apart, to be exact.) These two films are War Horse and The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn. While the former is a live-action family film, the latter is made using the motion capture technology made famous by all these recent Robert Zemeckis films.
This first trailer for Tintin really doesn’t give us a whole lot to chew on, but what it does reveal is relatively impressive. Where it certainly seems to be setting itself apart is in the scenery, and it is all suitably sweeping and epic. Even more than that, the film seems to really be relying on the pedigree of the people involved. Besides Spielberg’s natural-born gift for crafting a fun adventure, this film also boasts a producer’s credit for Lord of the Rings filmmaker Peter Jackson and a screenplay co-written by Edgar Wright. This certainly seems to be a case of a few of Hollywood’s best getting together to see what they can do with this technology. This trailer doesn’t completely win me over, but it certainly hints at what this film could be.
Straw Dogs
Dir: Rod Lurie – Planned release date: September 16
This is a horrible trailer for multiple reasons, but let’s start with the sheer idiocy of this film’s existence. It seems that Hollywood is completely incapable of creating original thriller/horror premises these days. When looking to find the next “thing,” the first idea isn’t to make something new; it’s to remake an old horror film and update it to fit the modern torture porn conventions. I will say this about the remake of Sam Peckinpah’s Straw Dogs: it wasn’t made by Michael Bay’s production company/abomination Platinum Dunes. Yet this project is ridiculous all the same.
As this is just the trailer, I will try to reserve judgment on the film. However, this is just not a well-made trailer. It goes on forever and goes out of its way to reveal every detail of the remake’s plot, sparing us only the gory details. Obviously this film isn’t rehashing the original’s plot beat-by-beat, but it comes off as just an unpleasant time that is at once bland and ultra-violent. There’s a chance a remake of Straw Dogs could be good, but Rod Lurie’s version doesn’t look like what the doctor ordered. If you want to make a psychological thriller/horror film, write your own darn script. For instance, you can read mine. It’s called Draw Stogs.
Fright Night
Dir: Craig Gillespie – Planned release date: August 19
Speaking of horror remakes, there’s this. In 1985, a movie was made called Fright Night. People liked it. Now they’re making a new one, because that’s what they do nowadays. Yet this trailer rather brilliantly misdirects the viewer—at first it seems to be a light-hearted crossover between Superbad and The Beaver—but soon it takes a dark turn into Horrorville and never comes back. The best horror movies are effective because they have a sense of humor about themselves, the material, and the genre itself. They’re meant to make you laugh more than anything. Outside of the trailer’s first 30 seconds, this thing never cracks a smile. I’m sorry, but I’m not too interested in Anton Yelchin fighting Colin Farrell with a frickin' crossbow unless there’s a joke somewhere in there. I have more faith in Fright Night than, say, Straw Dogs, but I’m not a big fan of how they seem to be selling it.
Here’s the good news: the director of Fright Night is Craig Gillespie, who has experience with comedy. Here’s the bad news: it was written by Marti Noxon, who wrote the screenplay for I Am Number Four. (I know, I kind of liked it. Doesn't make it good.) I honestly have no idea what to expect of this film right now, especially since it seems to be a jumble of many different elements.
50/50
Dir: Jonathan Levine – Planned release date: September 30
You know what’s hilarious? Cancer. At least that’s the vibe 50/50 is going for, what with Joseph Gordon-Levitt cracking a few jokes despite the fact he’s been told his chances of survival are only 50%. This is obviously a tricky line to walk, yet early buzz for the film is rather positive. I’ve seen some early, vague response to early screenings around the Internet, and I’ve yet to see anything negative about it. (It'll come, though.) Some of what I’ve heard has implied that there may be awards nominations in store for this film.
Now, if I had a dollar for every movie with early awards buzz that ended up with squat I’d be a rich man. That doesn’t mean I can’t look forward to 50/50, especially since everyone involved has already earned my respect in past films. If anything, this film should look to give Rogen a second crack at his terrific Funny People performance, which was overlooked due to the not inconsiderable flaws of the film around him. (I’m not saying he should have won an Oscar. He should have at least gotten more credit.) In the history of entertainment, cancer has driven characters to do some pretty insane things. 50/50 seems to be about characters simply trying to cope without an overbearing emphasis on the tragedy of the ordeal. This is one to keep an eye on.
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