Trailer Trash (8/19/11)

Volume 10: Harold & Kumar Meet the Chipmunks… in 3-D!

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas

Dir: Todd Strauss-Schulson – Planned release date: November 4

It certainly seems strange that a small stoner comedy like Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle would end up spawning two sequels and one of the largest cult followings going, but seven years later here we are. Neither of the previous films have been gigantic box office successes, but I’d imagine this is a franchise with huge DVD numbers and guaranteed longevity due to word-of-mouth. It’s also been a while since we’ve had a piece of hard-R holiday counter-programming in the vein of Bad Santa, so A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas looks to kill two birds with one stone; appease fans of the franchise, and give people the foulmouthed, raunchy and ridiculous Christmas movie they’ve been looking for. This may give the franchise a chance to expand its fan base considerably.

Following the divisive second installment (Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay) the trailer for Christmas is actually quite promising. It certainly doesn’t spare us anything extra absurd, and the over-the-top, self-conscious use of 3-D actually seems clever instead of too cute. Before this trailer, I was not particularly excited for a third Harold & Kumar film—rare is the comedy that justifies a second installment, let alone a third—but this trailer has enough weird-yet-inspired touches to get me interested. Besides, star Kal Penn temporarily left his job at the White House Office of Public Engagement to star in this movie. That means it must be amazing. Or it pays better than the President of the United States.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

Dir: Mike Mitchell – Planned release date: December 16

In other threequel news, here is a film that I have no—and I mean no—interest in whatsoever. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (puns!) looks like it will be precisely the film you’d expect Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (puns!) to be. First, there is Jason Lee collecting what is becoming his biennial paycheck. Then, there is Alvin getting the incredibly obvious Titanic reference out of the way, because every time a movie takes place on a boat there must be at least one. Beyond that, there doesn’t seem to be much of a plot to Chipwrecked (puns!) beyond “Alvin does crazy things while Dave looks on incredulously.” Oh, and Dave screams “Aaaaallllllviiiinnn!” for good measure.

To insure that Chipwrecked (puns!) remains a relevant piece of cinema for decades on end, it features the usual squeaky-voiced covers of modern popular music. This trailer happens to feature Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance,” meaning Chipwrecked (puns!) is already dated by the time it hits theaters. Imagine sitting down to watch this film in 2056 (as no one will), and hearing the chipmunks sing that song. Of course, the children will be repulsed by this “old people music” and the adults will have half-forgotten it ever existed. The Alvin and the Chipmunks films are uninterested in being long-lasting pieces of entertainment; they are ephemeral money-grabs. This is hardly a revelatory insight, but I just needed to roll my eyes in word form. You may move on.

In Time

Dir: Andrew Niccol – Planned release date: October 28

Right now I have two opinions of In Time: 1) the concept is kind of cool, and 2) it looks incredibly stupid. Perhaps that’s the point, but there’s not much humor or even campy fun to be found in this particular trailer. It seems unsuitably self-serious, and Justin Timberlake—while a winning actor in many respects—hardly makes for a compelling action star. Timberlake is best when given a meaty role like Sean Parker in The Social Network or a comedic part like in Bad Teacher or even Friends With Benefits. As a straight-faced, gun-wielding Robin Hood-type, I’m not so sure. He should be a charmer, but not quite James Bond.

As far as the film is concerned, I’m not so sure I’ll be able to get past the silliness with which the premise is presented. (The idea of Olivia Wilde as Timberlake’s mother just doesn’t work.) When Mad Men’s Vincent Kartheiser introduces the various women in his life, he seems to stop just short of breaking the fourth wall and saying “ain’t this wacky?” It all seems like the premise for a particularly ambitious Justin Timberlake music video rather than his an entire feature film. I won’t argue that this idea could spawn a great movie, but this just doesn’t seem to be it. The trailer runs the premise into the ground rather than promising that a good story could come out of it.

Apollo 18

Dir: Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego – Planned release date: September 2

Until watching this trailer, I had heard the oft-delayed Apollo 18 described as “Paranormal Activity in space.” I thought that sounded like the most ridiculous thing ever and that no film could actually do that. Well, now I have seen the trailer. And yes, it looks exactly like Paranormal Activity… in space! Only the great villain here doesn’t seem to be creepy ghosts or demons as much as moon spiders that infect humans with a virus or something. I don’t know, but the whole “found footage” angle seems particularly gimmicky here. Perhaps the quality of the film can be inferred just from how much the release date has been moved, and that it finally wound up in the dumping ground of early September. Here is a list of all the planned release dates: March 2011, April 2011, January 2012 (!), August 2011 and now September 2. If ever a movie felt like it was being unceremoniously released and forgotten, it is this. The good news is that it only cost $5 million, meaning it would take absolute disaster for it not to be profitable.

Also, can we stop pretending these found footage horror movies are real? Thanks.

The Woman in Black

Dir: James Watkins – Planned release date: February 3, 2012

We have reached that time, ladies and gentlemen. All the young actors who have spent the last decade in the Harry Potter films now must move on to newer, possibly more adult projects. Tom Felton was first up to bat with Rise of the Planet of the Apes (where he essentially played Draco Malfoy again) but now the leading man himself will see how he stacks up outside the world of Hogwarts. Daniel Radcliffe has already been doing quite well for himself on Broadway with productions of Equus and How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, but his non-Harry Potter film work has been virtually nonexistent. The old-fashioned horror film The Woman in Black is the first to try and usher him into a post-wizarding world.

And you know what? This looks wonderfully spooky. The trailer begins with merely an ominous tone before slowly revealing that things are indeed going to go insane in this house. There’s not a great deal of context—why does he decide to enter this house anyway? Did he not listen to the creepy narration?—but as far as teasers go this is quite effective. It’s not revealing in any way, but this hints at a Radcliffe who isn’t going to spend the rest of his career doing dumb summer blockbusters. This is a young actor who is looking to explore and try different, bolder things. That, to me, is a thrilling prospect.