Volume 22: There Goes the Neighborhood
Neighborhood Watch
Dir: Akiva Schaffer – Planned release date: July 27
When I first watched the trailer for Neighborhood Watch, I knew nothing about this movie. Now that I have seen it and read a bit about the project, I could not be more fascinated. This preview advertises a typical comedy about a group of dads—and Jonah Hill, who isn’t quite at the “dad” point in his career yet—who form an overly-protective neighborhood watch group. While the trailer doesn’t reveal a whole lot (thankfully) nothing would suggest a film that’s very far off the beaten path. The people behind it are promising; chiefly the screenwriting services of Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg along with the cast. However, when you read a plot synopsis for Neighborhood Watch things get wacky. Supposedly aliens show up at some point and the main foursome of Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Hill and Richard Ayoade must fight for the future of the planet. The trailer alludes to none of this, and even the poster seems to be in on the alien action. I find this whole mystery kind of awesome and rare for such a mainstream product, and I hope the people behind it remain secretive as long as possible. The film was directed by Lonely Island-er Akiva Schaffer, and here’s hoping he fares better at the box office than his counterpart Jorma Taccone, whose MacGruber bombed back in 2010.
The Avengers
Dir: Joss Whedon – Planned release date: May 4
It seems we can’t go two weeks anymore without getting a new trailer for the mega-blockbuster The Avengers, and this latest one does the best job of showing what these characters will be like once they team up. It also does a good job of showing us all the epic ‘splosions that we’ll be seeing in the movie, though I hope it hasn’t wasted too many of the money shots on the previews. I remain not-entirely-convinced by the decision to make Loki the villain—while I liked him well enough in the universe of Thor, I’m not sure he works as the baddie to end all baddies—and there’s a focus on bickering here that may grow uncomfortable at feature-length, but there’s no denying the excitement of seeing all these heroes in one place. Also: the release of this film means we may finally be done with all those teases that grew so annoying in movies like Iron Man 2 and Thor. Unless they do it all again just to lead up to Avengers 2, in which case, yikes.
Piranha 3DD
Dir: John Gulager – Planned release date: TBD
The original Piranha 3D was embraced by any as wonderfully trashy fun, and while it occasionally worked on that level for me I found it to be too unpleasant too often. Well, this trailer for Piranha 3DD (tee hee, breasts) promises a film that only doubles up on the excess rather than curbing it. The first film was hardly a box office smash, but that hasn’t deterred anyone. The premise here is even more absurd than the first: in a move that echoes (perhaps purposefully) the ridiculousness of Jaws 3-D, the fish have now invaded a water park, and everyone is fair game. The likes of Gary Busey and David Hasslehoff even show up to do some self-aware mugging, with the former biting a fish in half and spitting it at the camera. So there’s that. If you’ve been looking forward to this, then this seems to promise all you could have ever hoped for. By the way, there’s one brief moment here that I’m surprised they were able to put in the trailer. You know which. I’m guessing they’re not showing this in front of The Lorax.
Frankenweenie
Dir: Tim Burton – Planned release date: October 5
Back in 1984, a younger Tim Burton directed the short film Frankenweenie, which told the tale of a young boy who resurrected his dog after an accident. All these years later, Burton has decided to give that story the ol’ Nightmare Before Christmas/Corpse Bride treatment, all without Johnny Depp or Helena Bonham Carter! Also unlike the last few Burton projects, this movie actually seems pretty darn interesting. This is a movie that will be released in IMAX 3-D, yet it is entirely in black and white. It’ll be fascinating to see if Burton is able to pull such things off while still retaining the film’s emotional core, but I have surprising amount of faith in this project. Instead of just remaking something and throwing his old pal Depp into the middle of it, he’s using material that he has a great deal of personal affection for, and this is the first time we’ve seen that out of Burton since the start of the new millennium. Also, if this trailer is any indication, composer Danny Elfman will still be up to his old tricks.
Bernie
Dir: Richard Linklater – Planned release date: March 2
After striking box office gold with Jack Black and School of Rock all the way back in 2003, director Richard Linklater has enjoyed some time under the radar. Besides the Bad News Bears remake, many of his subsequent films have been little-seen and hardly-remembered. He looks to change that with Bernie, a dark comedy that reteams him with Black for a film about a mortician who cares for Shirley MacLaine and then kills her, in that order. Meanwhile, fellow Linklater vet Matthew McConaughey tries to figure the whole thing out. A great deal of this seems rather broad, but there’s little denying that this seems like one of the better Black performances in quite some time. Early buzz is also positive, but if there’s one thing that bothers me about Bernie it’s something has nothing to do with the onscreen product: the film has eight credited producers, twelve executive producers, three co-producers and four associate producers. I think if I threw five bucks at this baby I could have gotten my name on it too.
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