Taken 2 (2012)

The biggest reason that Liam Neeson has evolved into everyone’s favorite aging action hero is because he takes everything so deathly seriously. There is no winking at the camera or even all that much comic relief; the audience genuinely believes that he’s doing what he needs to do to save his family. If that involves beating the crap out of a hundred or so foreigners, so be it. However, it’s still imperative that he winds up in a film that makes at least some sense, and Taken 2—the latest installment in the “Liam Neeson vs. Evil Europeans” genre—makes about as little sense as any mainstream action film in recent memory. The writing is both clunky and uncreative, and the direction is equally dire. The first Taken at least had a sense of newness to it. The sequel just throws the same thing back at you (only worse) and expects you to like it.

The film’s first miscalculation is the decision to actually tie the events of this film to the first, which immediately warns the audience that things are going to get derivative real quick. Murad Hoxha (Rade Šerbedžija) is the father of one of the nameless goons that Neeson killed in the first movie, and he has vowed revenge in the name of all who were killed in that rampage. This is a strange goal, as it seems to require that Neeson will once again be returning to Europe with his ex-wife (Famke Janssen) and daughter (Maggie Grace) in tow. Luckily enough, this is precisely what happens. Commence a not particularly well thought out kidnapping scheme!

Taken 2 also makes the vital mistake of thinking we care about these characters as actual human beings. This is obviously untrue, as I have gotten this far into the review without even mentioning the name of Neeson’s character, because it is irrelevant. He will always be “Liam Neeson.” Anyway, instead of jumping right into the European action, we get a lengthy first act in which Neeson must deal with sitcom-level family drama that involves his ex-wife’s current marriage falling apart and his daughter attempting to get her driver’s license while getting her first boyfriend. (That boyfriend, plated by Luke Grimes, has three words of dialogue tops.) May I remind you that Maggie Grace is a 29-year-old woman who should be long past playing the helpless teenage daughter who just wants to learn how to drive. Also, the fact that she was thrown into human trafficking not long ago never really comes up. There’s vague talk about how things are “getting better,” but overall she’s doing just swell.

This would probably be forgivable if the action was done with the same gravity and excitement as Taken, but unfortunately even this takes a significant step backward. The editing is Michael Bay levels of incomprehensible, and at no point does director Olivier Megaton do anything creative with the combat. It’s just simple hand-to-hand stuff from beginning to end, and the characters are never asked to do anything besides punch, kick, run and shoot. It’s nothing but an assault on the eyes that should be far more exciting that it actually is.

The rampant lack of creativity even extends to the soundtrack, which uses two (2) pieces of music from the Drive soundtrack along with that horrid song from all those Internet Explorer commercials. Neeson is still a fun, charismatic action star, but besides his performance there’s virtually nothing here to recommend. If you’re looking for two hours of Neeson beating nameless, faceless villains up in between long sequences of him calmly explaining things, this will probably do the job. If you’re looking for a sequel that takes the original’s formula in new, potentially exciting directions you are bum out of luck. A sequel to Taken was probably never going to be great, but Megaton and Luc Besson certainly didn’t take the opportunity.

Grade: D