Volume 36:
The Apocalypse Has Not Been Picked Up for the Back Nine
Pacific Rim
Dir: Guillermo del Toro – Planned release
date: July 12, 2013
There’s
something to be said for the inherent awesomeness of watching two huge things
fight each other, and that seems to be the very premise behind Guillermo del
Toro’s epic Pacific Rim. There’s not
a whole lot to the premise here: gigantic Godzilla-esque
aliens invade. Humans create equally gigantic robots. Commence destruction. The
only real questions is how much del Toro is able to elevate the material from
its Emmerich-ian ambitions, and my guess is that he’ll do a great job. del Toro
has a knack for things like this, and while Pacific
Rim doesn’t appear to be about much more than loud noises it’s hard to
imagine he hasn’t poured his heart and soul into this thing. My only real
complaint about the trailer is the lack of Charlie Day, of whom we only get a
couple brief glimpses. Otherwise, this looks like it could be one heck of a
movie’s movie.
After Earth
Dir: M. Night Shyamalan – Planned release
date: June 7, 2013
When last we saw
our hero M. Night Shyamalan, he had just directed one of the most reviled
movies ever in The Last Airbender.
Two years later, he is looking for the sci-fi thriller After Earth to be a big comeback. This movie has three things going
for it: Will Smith in the lead role along with his son Jaden, the name of the
elder Smith’s character is “Cypher Raige,” and Shyamalan did not write the
screenplay. He’s shown plenty of problems as a director the last few years, but
his screenwriting is what has been especially horrible. There’s a general air
of cautious optimism around this movie, even if the advertisers have suddenly
realized that Shyamalan’s name is poison. This trailer does not bill After Earth as an M. Night Shyamalan
film, but rather a Will Smith vehicle. In that regard, it’s unremarkable but
potentially promising. There’s a lot of Avatar
DNA in this movie, and it’s just a matter of whether the final product is able
come up with anything original to say.
Star Trek Into Darkness
Dir: J.J. Abrams – Planned release date:
May 17, 2013
The
always-secretive J.J. Abrams has been especially so about the sequel to his
acclaimed Star Trek reboot, and the
trailer similarly is only interested in giving the audience the broad strokes.
In short: things get heavy, as is so often the case with sequels like this. The
most speculation has revolved around the role being played by British person
Benedict Cumberbatch. Some have claimed he is Khan, while the Wikipedia page
(always reliable) refers to his character as “John Harrison.” Abrams has, of
course, denied all this. All we do know based on this trailer is that he joins
the long line of recent villains to find themselves locked in an impenetrable
glass prison, but that was probably the plan right from the start. Maybe. Who knows? Anyway, Star Trek Into Darkness certainly seems
poised to take Abrams’ version of the universe to the next level, and that can
either be a good thing or very, very bad. I’m obviously hoping for the former.
Pain and Gain
Dir: Michael Bay – Planned release date:
April 26, 2013
Why doesn’t
Michael Bay only make movies like this? After giving us but Transformers atrocities the last several
years, Pain and Gain seems like the
exact kind of material that seems perfectly suited to his, uh, skill set. He’s
made a career out of directing movies like he’s on steroids, and making a movie
about a bunch of dudes on
steroids pulling off a ridiculous heist has the potential to be a match made in
heaven. His approach may still be too cynical and processed to create anything
of much quality, but this
trailer has done its job: it has me reasonably excited to see just what Bay is
up to. That is no small feat. His shtick doesn’t work when he’s trying to make
a four-quadrant summer blockbuster. This could be a match made in heaven.
To the Wonder
Dir: Terrence Malick – Planned release
date: April 12, 2013
Imagine what the
trailer for a new Terrence Malick might look like. Now, watch the trailer for To the Wonder. Quite a bit of overlap,
no? He’s certainly up to his old tricks again, but after making something as
transcendent as The Tree of Life he’s
allowed to follow his imagination as far down the rabbit hole as he likes. If
that means watching Ben Affleck walk across beaches, frozen lakes and fields of
grass to the soaring sounds of classical music, so be it. Even To the Wonder sounds like a Malick
parody title. Logically, reviews coming out of Toronto were mixed—with some
scathing notices as well—but that is nothing new for Malick. How his films are
received when they’re released is almost irrelevant; talk to us in 30 years and
we’ll have a more accurate opinion. To
the Wonder may show signs that he’s starting to coast on usual style a
little bit, but this style has such a high batting average that I’m not going
to complain. Haters gonna hate.
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