Trailer Trash (6/28/13)

Volume 42: Richfellas

The Wolf of Wall Street

Dir: Martin Scorsese – Planned release date: November 15

Here’s one of the things that makes Martin Scorsese the consistent filmmaker that he is: he knows when to play the hits. Sure, he’ll make movies like Hugo that look and feel unlike anything else he’s ever done. Then he’ll make movies like The Departed, which play so obviously to his strengths that he almost has no choice but to break out the “Gimme Shelter” and go to work. The Wolf of Wall Street definitely seems to be in the “play the hits” category of things, and I could not be more psyched about it. The story of Jordan Belfort fits quite cleanly into the “rise and fall” narrative Scorsese loves so much, and if the final film has half the bonkers energy of this trailer then it should be something to behold. In many ways, this is precisely what I want from a preview. It advertises the tone of the film with the use of several scenes and shots rather than just laying out the entire plot. Where the movie goes may be obvious, but this trailer works beautifully as a tease and not as a summary. Even if this movie winds up cutting out everything except the DiCaprio/McConaughey dinner scene, I’ll still be pumped.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Dir: Peter Jackson – Planned release date: December 13

Peter Jackson’s great experiment in water-treading rolls on with The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, the second installment of his Hobbit trilogy that will conclude in 2014. I’ve made my reservations about this project clear in the past, and even while I found the first installment to be slightly frustrating I also couldn’t completely resist the charms of Jackson’s Middle Earth. I even actively liked the last hour, but for some reason I cannot bring myself to be even slightly excited about The Desolation of Smaug. Sure, it looks like we’ll finally get to see the dragon and Jackson might be able to slightly move this behemoth along. But the bottom line is that this is the second film in a trilogy that, in my mind, still has no business being a trilogy, and a trilogy of long films at that. I’ll see Desolation of Smaug, but at this point I just want to move ahead to the third installment and get this thing over with.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

Dir: Adam McKay – Planned release date: December 20

Ever since it was initially announced, a sequel to Anchorman seemed like a risky proposition to me. Really, this is for all the same reasons I was hesitant going into the fourth Arrested Development season, and in that case some of my fears were justified. (Some. Not all.) The first Anchorman has such a unique energy to it that I’m not sure it’s something that can be replicated again all these years later. Adam McKay and Will Ferrell have still done good work with each other in the intervening years, but I’m not sure there’s been a comedy quite like Anchorman ever since Anchorman. At least not a good one. I’ll certainly be excited to see everyone try, and it’s not like the cast got any less funny. They’ve just set up quite the challenge for themselves, but I’d much prefer to live in a world with a second Anchorman than a world without one.

Jobs

Dir: Joshua Michael Stern – Planned release date: August 16

Well, you don’t really see this kind of reverential biopic much anymore, do you? These days it’s much more in vogue for a film to be more skeptical of its subject and narrow the scope a bit. This is the kind of movie where Ashton Kutcher’s Steve Jobs just comes up with the name “Apple” on a whim while driving down the highway, and in general his Jobs seems to be painted as a man so far ahead of his time that the only reason people ever disagreed with him was because they were wrong and they couldn’t see the big picture. In short, Jobs does not really look that alluring to me. Kutcher certainly seems to be trying his hardest, but he and the film appear to make the mistake of going for impersonation over performance. Now, this is just the trailer obviously, but it’s not terribly promising. If Aaron Sorkin’s Steve Jobs movie ever sees the light of day, it’s likely that Jobs may ultimately be seen as the Olympus Has Fallen to Sorkin’s White House Down.

Escape Plan

Dir: Mikael Håfström – Planned release date: October 18

This is a movie about Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger breaking out of a super jail. Wait, I don’t think you heard me. This is a movie about SYLVESTER STALLONE and ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER breaking out of a SUPER JAIL. Why are you still sitting there and not off buying tickets in advance? Why is this browser window still open? I mean, did you watch this trailer? It stars 50 Cent as the computer geek who probably has to hack into the mainframe or some crap. It has Jim Caviezel screaming “your time is up!” But I’d just like to drive this home one more time: Sylvester Stallone. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Super jail. What do you need, a road map?