Trailer Trash

A new feature where I show you movie trailers that are either the greatest two minutes of my life or pieces of trash. Usually the latter.

Let us begin with Furry Vengeance mounting its early Oscar campaign. Watch first:


Observations:
-Ken Jeong as a kooky villain? There's a stretch!

-They don't even get 25 seconds without a screaming forest critter.

-Apparently animals have developed the knowledge to utilize human tools such as telescopes. Also, they can hotwire cars. Perhaps this is actually a dystopian future... Just imagine HAL9000 as a ferret.

-Every time I force myself into sort of liking Brendan Fraser, he makes a movie in which he screams "Miley Cyrus!" when a boulder is coming at him. And would that moment exist without Steve Carell screaming "Kelly Clarkson!" in The 40 Year-Old Virgin?

-Haha, skunks smell bad, get it? And bird crap! THEY'RE POOPING! MY SIDE HURTS! A PORT-A-POTTY! THEY'RE DISGUSTING! WEESNAW!

-I think that raccoon is the dictator of the forest. The animals bow to his every whim.

-Honestly though, these animals are pretty tame. Watch the South Park episode "Woodland Critter Christmas" and THEN we'll talk.

-"You have a family, you were only trying to protect them..." OK, I'm back from gagging.

In short, it looks like we're heading towards a film in which the physical comedy is too low-brow for a Bud Light ad. As I look at the credits, I see it is directed by Roger Kumble, who gave us... Cruel Intentions?!

Also at work is the writing team of the HILARIOUSLY titled Mr. Woodcock. You didn't see it. I didn't see it. I'll never see it. And I'll never see Furry Vengeance if I can avoid it.